Our First Christmas and New Year!

The past 2 months have been all sorts of "firsts" with Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year coming back to back. Annabelle has experienced her first Thanksgiving and all the delicious table food she will enjoy for years to come, she has seen her first snow fall and tried to lick it with her tongue, and we discovered that she along with every 11 month old in the world is truly terrified by Santa Clause.

Tony and I had a blast buying her new toys and then I cried when I had to put away all her baby toys that no longer hold her attention. All those little rings and stuffed animals that captivated her stare are now packed away in her closet and replaced by toys to stimulate her mind with shapes, colors and sounds. She gets smarter every day and I realize time is moving faster with each month and that is bittersweet.

I look back to this time last year and remember how miserable I was and how anxious we were to meet this little girl. And now as we are embarking upon her first birthday and I am staring into the eyes of this little person who now communicates and plays along with me I am amazed that this is the same tiny little baby who seemed so fragile. She loves to wrestle and has no fear, she climbs to the top of the stairs as fast as she can and squeals as I chase close behind. And today she took her first 4 steps as Hillary and I counted and clapped...I have a feeling I am in trouble.

We have had our share of illness this past fall and winter but we're getting through it with the help of grandmothers who come over in a moments notice. I have been thrown up on, there are days I am covered in snot with tissues hanging out of my pocket to keep up with the runny nose and I have cried and prayed over fevers spiking to 104.5 in the middle of the night feeling helpless and insecure. But it's amazing how Annabelle knows she is loved and protected and will allow me to do what I need to do to make her better. And the greatest day is when the doctor looks at you and validates your hard work and effort, saying you've done everything you can and gives you a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

I am learning the power of loving discipline and just how smart Annabelle is when it comes to hearing the word "no". She understands the word and laughs everytime she hears it which used to be funny but now we're having to crack down and be a little more firm.

At this time we are planning her 1 year birthday party and I can't believe it's actually here. I'm sure I will have wonderful stories in the coming weeks as she gets more confident in walking and her words, which she uses very often. This was by far one of the most memorable Holidays of my life and I am so excited for all the new memories we are about to make!

Annabelle-9 Months Old

I have had such good intentions on keeping a good blog, but it seems like every time I sit down to record a thought I am interrupted by sweet little Annabelle and I put it off until the next day- and here I am, 3 months after my last blog. Thank you Lauren Brown for reminding me that people still visit my little blog- you gave me the much needed push to actually sit down, relax and reflect over the past 3 months of such big change in the Runion family household. So I am putting aside the laundry, dishes, wall paper peeling and dusting to do what I love to do most and don't do quite enough- write. Hold on, this could be a long one...

Annabelle is now 9 months old, 24.5 lbs and almost 30 inches long: needless to say I don't think we are going to have a prima ballerina in our house. Since August she has developed 3 new teeth that took FOREVER to come in and we can tell she is in pain based on sleepless nights and the bulk supply of Children's Motrin we have to buy as they are coming in. Sometimes I miss that gummy smile, teeth are just another reminder that our little baby is growing up.

I went back to work in August and teach part time this year which I LOVE so much. I spend Tuesdays and Fridays being a full time mom and the rest of the week with the sweetest children in Cincinnati as their gym teacher. I pray I can keep this type of schedule for years to come, it is a perfect balance of doing what I love as a professional and maintaining an organized household (sometimes organized :-) ). In the midst of all this we finally bought a house and closed mid October. We spent most of September packing up the apartment and preparing the new house for our family- this is a huge task but so rewarding! Hillary and Savannah come over and watch Annabelle when I work-what a beautiful and blessed situation to have my daughter's aunt and cousin with her while I'm away!

Annabelle started crawling in her new room right at 9 months and I almost started crying, it was a beautiful sight. Not that I want to rush these milestones, but to see her developing and growing so perfectly and responding to me as her mom and Tony as her dad, verbally acknowledging us when we walk into a room and coming to us for hugs- it's all so different from that little baby who could only communicate through smiles and cries. When she says "Mama" or "Dada" we both melt, at night as I rock her to sleep she pats my back like I have done to her since she was born and falls asleep with her head on my shoulder. That's another thing that has changed...she no longer wants to fall asleep being held like a baby, she likes to curl on my lap as close as she can get until she drifts off. It's crazy how time goes so quickly when all you want to do is savor each moment and lock it in time. I used to rush things, always look ahead at what was coming next- I don't do that much anymore.

She is eating table food now: grilled cheese sandwiches, grapes, pinto beans, watermelon, mashed potatoes, cheese- and I love seeing her little face when she tries something for the first time. We haven't given her anything sweet, probably won't until her first birthday, but baby food is slowly becoming a snack and she watches every bite we take as if saying, "give me some." And we do.

I didn't think the move would affect her but it rocked her little baby world and for a good week Tony and I didn't get much sleep. Her new room is very large and the whole house is so much bigger than her little cozy apartment. I couldn't expect her to automatically adjust so we let her sleep with us until she got comfortable, full well knowing we could be starting something but it's so heartwrenching to hear her cry in her crib. But for the past few nights she has been sleeping through the night, taking great naps and waking up happy.

I knew this would be a rather lengthy post, I promise to be more diligent in maintaining this blog so I can be more detailed without writing a novel. I have to say this is my favorite age, we laugh together, wrestle, she is so much fun. I am excited to write about her first major holidays coming up, I feel like my entire world is about to get more fun as we prepare for Christmas. I can't wait :-)

Annabelle is 6 months old!

Ahhh, nap time. It's such a lovely time of the day but I must hurry, you never know if this is just a cat nap or one of those glorious 2 hour naps.

6 months...I can't believe Annabelle is half a year old. I look through her earlier pictures and it's almost like I can't remember what she looked like or how she felt. I'm beginning to understand why some women go ahead and have baby number 2 so quickly. But at the same time I am so in love with this age and stage of her life that I look forward to waking each morning just to see what new things she will do. I had no idea I would love being a mom as much as I do

I've had to give myself a lot of grace in the past 6 months. I've had to forgive myself for being more selfish than I'd like to admit, I've had to ask for forgiveness from the Lord and those in my daily circle for not always being consistent in my communication or efforts to balance life as a daughter,mom, teacher, wife, and friend. I've learned to appreciate friends who are mothers and respect their amazing ability to finally find balance and I take silent notes on best practices. Sometimes I become extremely overwhelmed by the daunting task of being a mother and all the responsibility that comes with raising a daughter in the world today. Especially when I see teenage girls at the mall wearing their tiny skirts and carrying their flashy cell phones.

I feel more normal this month than ever before and it feels good. I am leading worship more often, I've joined the choir, I work out, and the beauty of it all is that I get to do it all with Annabelle. I now have this amazing little best friend who goes everywhere with me and it's so much fun. There are days during her long naps where I actually miss her and can't wait for her to wake up so we can play and read together and I love her more with each day she is in our lives. What amazes me is if I love her this much, how much greater is our Heavenly Father's love for us? No wonder He wants our constant attention, devotion, time...

I have loved every second of my summer break and when I look at Annabelle I know I am looking at a gift from God. I have no idea what the Lord is going to do with our family, what kinds of gifts and abilities He will give Annabelle, but I trust we are on the right path towards something great and exciting. In 6 short months I have been loved more than I could ever imagine and I've shown love in ways I've never known before. I am so thankful for the gift of motherhood, so grateful to be given such a beautiful responsibility.

I am probably the worst blogger EVER as it has been 2 months since my last post and in those 2 months our little girl has emerged from a delicate infant to a chubby, giggling, loving baby. I've spent the past 9 weeks finishing my school year and learning how to juggle both work and family. It hasn't always been easy, I had moments where I felt guilty for leaving her and looked forward to weekends where we could wake up together and snuggle in bed. Tony did such a great job getting up with her each morning. He made her bottles, gathered all her favorite blankets, and together they watched ESPN religiously followed by Regis and Kelly. Knowing she was with her dad until late morning and then with her great grandmother for the rest of the day made working much more tolerable and by the last day of school I really felt comfortable with my role as a working mom.

Annabelle is now almost 5 months old and each day I am amazed by her joyful heart and consistent temperment. From the moment she entered this world she has been the perfect example of what women pray for when they find out they are pregnant- she eats well, sleeps 12 hours a night, only cries when she's hungry, tired or wet, and is a little ahead of the game with her motor skills. This past week she started rolling onto her stomach and that has made my job a little more difficult because now I can't leave her alone in the room for even a second without putting her in the exersaucer or swing.

My sister Hillary and I get the girls together almost everyday to take them to the pool, shopping, and sometimes we just sit around the house playing and watching favorite reruns of those classic TGIF sitcoms we've both seen a million times. But the beauty of this summer, of this moment, is that I don't have to be in a hurry, I don't have to say goodbye every morning and that is why I won't take a moment of this summer for granted.

Tony and I have put a bid on a house in Lebanon and hope to hear something sooner than later but it's a short sale forclosure home so the process could take months. I am praying this is the house we have been waiting for because it would be amazing to finally have a space of our own big enough for our quickly growing family. The best part of this fall is that my sister is going to watch Annabelle when I go back to work and I can't tell you how good it feels to know she gets to spend each day with her aunt and cousin.

Well, I don't want to try and recap the past 9 weeks so I am going to try my hardest to be more consistent in updating this blog. I'm sure as Annabelle grows and begins doing things for the first time I will have more to write about. I am so thankful to have this time off with my family (and Tony is happy too because he doesn't have to get up early for awhile :-) ) and I plan on using every moment of it wisely!

Working Mom

I've been back to work now for almost 2 weeks and I will admit it has been easier than I expected. I will confess I had a major breakdown the Sunday before my first day back where I held onto Annabelle for dear life for about 3 hours and sobbed uncontrollably. It was just so hard to let go of the past 9 weeks and our first months together as a team, learning and growing together as a mommy and daughter. Even though I was ready to go back I had to grieve in my own way and acknowledge this new life of being a working mom and trusting the Lord would protect Annabelle when I wasn't able to.

We had decided we would be taking her to my friend's house for the next 8 weeks and I was very comfortable with that decision. However plans changed when my friend had a sick kid and my granny had to come over and be our replacement for a few days. Little did we know that Granny and Annabelle would become best friends in such a short amount of time and it was a beautiful sight to see the two of them laughing and playing together. I haven't seen my Granny come to life like that since her husband passed away and I knew Annabelle would be such a blessing to her. So we decided Granny would take care of her for the next 8 weeks and it has been wonderful for both of them as well as for Tony and I. Now I leave for work knowing she is going to be with her Great Granny and it's hysterical to come home and find them laying on the floor playing with toys and talking about just about everything. I'm pretty sure Annabelle will have a full vocabulary by the time she's 6 months old :-)

I feel like things are starting to fall into place as she gets older and I feel comfortable with my new routine. I'm still not sure how these super moms do it- work, come home to kids and clean, cook, and still wear a size 4. I keep trying to figure out a good workout time but everyday is a mystery so I get my workouts with the kids at school and take stairs everywhere I go. I keep a picture of myself on my camera when I was in the best shape of my life to keep me motivated, but the reality is that my hips are forever changed and I might as well take all those Express jeans to Plato's Closet and get some money.

The kids at school are funny about my return, constantly reminding me of how fat I was and asking where my baby went. They seem genuinely happy that I am back which has made returning so much easier and I look forward to seeing them each day. But when that clock hits 3:00 I am ready to run out the door and straight home because I know she is waiting for me and I love to see her smile when I walk in the door. From about 4:00 until bedtime we play, sing, take little cat naps, go for walks, and wait for Tony to come home so we can watch our favorite shows and then settle down for the night. It's amazing how quickly a 9 week old adapts to a routine and I am so thankful she loves to sleep!

There are moments I wish I could be with her every waking moment but I trust the Lord is protecting her and these moments she gets to spend with Tony in the morning and her great granny throughout the day are irreplaceable and she will grow from them. She is getting smarter by the day and I know it's because she is healthy and happy and that makes getting up every morning so easy. Prayerfully I will be able to stay home with her more when she is older and remembers our time together, but for now I work so that can be an option one day. For now she is with Granny and I know it is for the best...for everyone.

A Change is in the Air

These past 9 weeks have been intense, my first week of maternity leave waiting in anticipation and uncertianty of what was coming my way, and these past eight filled with so much joy and love I can't even begin to put them into words. I knew it would go quickly and that before I knew it I would be going back to work even though my mind wasn't ready to comprehend what that meant. I knew I loved Annabelle before she came into the world, but now that she's here that love is so much stronger than I can express so the thought of leaving her for any amount of time makes me sad.

Around the 5th week of maternity leave I knew I wasn't necessarily the stay at home mom type. I could definately see myself working part time but I knew I needed to work because I truly enjoy what I do. Teaching is probably the best job to have if you want to work and raise a family and the Lord has provided me with an amazing job teaching Physical Education surrounded by wonderful Christian teachers and families. The nice part about Tony and I's situation is that he will drop her off at 9:30am and I will pick her up at 3:30pm so she gets to spend the morning with her daddy and 6 hours later she will be with me. I am leaving her with one of my best friends, a wonderful mother who treats Annabelle like her own, so my sadness although validated, is overshadowed by a thankful heart for this woman who will bless my child for the next 9 weeks.

Annabelle is proving to be a very smart baby and is showing us all sorts of personality reflecting both Tony and myself. During my pregnancy I would pray over Annabelle the entire drive downtown to school, asking the Lord for all sorts of things but mostly for good health and safe delivery. But I also prayed she would have a gentle spirit and reflect the peace of God and it's amazing how the Lord gave us a little girl so calm, happy, and gentle. Don't get me wrong, she has a temper that will make you laugh because it's so funny to see something so little get so mad over something so quickly. But when I put her to bed at night I am so thankful the Lord gave me a daughter already showing the Fruits of the Spirit and I continue to pray those over her each night as I rock her to sleep.

In the middle of the all this madness of raising a newborn we are also house hunting which has proven to be frustrating and disappointing making me want to stay holed up in our luxery apartment until the rapture. We have the best apartment in the world but are outgrowing it rapidly as toys, swings, and baby gear take over our living space. Every house we look at we question child care options, schooling, church, driving distance to work, and neither Tony or I have ever had to worry about those things when picking a place to live. He was either traveling with baseball 8 months out of the year and I don't think I ever stayed anywhere longer than a year to have to worry about it. Every house we have liked and actually attempted to purchase was snatched up just before we could make a bid and it has been so stupid...for example, just yesterday we found out that a house we put a bid on and actually had a great chance of getting we lost because someone came in and offered them CASH for the house...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Who pays cash for a house???

But the Lord is in control, we know this in our spirits, it's my crazy flesh and all these hormones pumping through my body that want to get worked up and go egg the house once the new owners move in. I'm kidding- I completely trust our house is out there, or a piece of land for us to build on, we just have to be patient and believe in the perfect timing of our Lord.

Well, it's been a great 9 weeks and every prayer and been answered in regards to the end of my pregnancy, delivery, and the first weeks that come with new parenting. I am so thankful we were able to have this time together and I am looking forward to the summer break I pray comes quickly. I am looking forward to seeing the kids at school and spending the warm days of spring outside playing games and celebrating the end of the year- but the best part of my day will be seeing her face at 3:30.

I think we're finally starting to get the hang of this parenting thing. Don't get me wrong, we're still learning something new everyday and having "aha" moments where you're so thankful this little baby won't remember our stupid mistakes. For example, the other day I was on a cleaning spree through the house and took a break and feed Annabelle. Since she has a tendancy to spit up I have spit up cloths laying in each room so I can grab one if I need it. Well this time she spit up more than usual and it was going all over her outfit so I reached for a burp cloth and began wiping her mouth and not just dabbing, really getting as much as I could only to realize I was wiping her mouth with the dusting rag and not her nice clean cloth...and then I panicked and called my mom to find out if I had poisoned our child.

So needless to say we are experimenting with diapers, formula, generic, name brand, bedtimes, bathtimes, feeding times, it's all brand new! Last Thursday was her doctor's appointment and they have her 1 shot and I cried as she screamed and then they put her in my arms to comfort her. Within 2 minutes of holding her and singing "Jesus Loves Me" softly in her ear she was smiling and falling asleep while tears continued to pour down my face. This mommyhood thing will turn you from a tough independent woman into a mushy, sappy, teary mom who would rather get 10 shots than watch her child get just 1.

She's becoming more and more like a little person and not a little doll I change, feed, and burp 24/7. She smiles at me and really knows what she's smiling at and laughs in her sleep which makes my heart soar because it gives me a glimpse into the future when we'll laugh together at movies, funny stories from her day, and silly embarrassing moments we're share. We play peek a boo, sing songs, lay on the floor to play with her toys, and fall asleep together on the couch during our favorite shows. I had no idea she would change so quickly and I don't take a single day for granted as I watch her grow.

Now that the weather is warming up we have taken her to church, Hillary and Savannah come over and take them for walks in their strollers, and I'm looking forward to the summer when we get to spend the days at the pool and time with our families. With each day I am learning how to be a better mother and Tony is amazing as he supports me as a mom and effortlessly adjusts to fatherhood. We are able to sit on the couch as a family and watch TV and go for drives with her happily strapped in her carseat watching the world go by. And even now as I write this she is kicking freely in her boppy next to me watching American Idol and smiling, I'm not sure what she's smiling at but it doesn't matter, she's just so happy!

Annabelle will be 8 weeks old when I go back to school to finish the school year. It's bittersweet, but I will anticipate picking her up everyday at 3:30, ready to see her little face. And 9 weeks later I will start summer break and we will get to spend everyday together once again- I think that's why it's a little easier to go back.

We are loving us some Annabelle these days and we couldn't be happier as a family...the Lord has blessed us abundantly and I am so thankful for these 6.5 weeks!