When I decided to begin writing about the adventures of becoming a new mom I had no idea how hard it would be to actually find the time to sit down and record my thoughts between diaper changes, feedings, tummy time, cleaning, etc...I have so many things I want to write about but at the end of the day when Tony comes home and he takes over for some daddy time, it's my turn to shower, finish household duties, and sometimes even sleep!
I am amazed how quickly this first month has gone and I wish I could put into words how wonderful these first few weeks have been. For those of you who are pregnant for the first time, I won't sugar coat it- the first 2 weeks are extremely difficult and it has nothing to do with taking care of the baby. So many friends warned me about the "baby blues" and I swore I'd be able to pray, quiet time, or worship my way through them, but when they hit they hit hard and I think it looks different for every woman. I never understood post partum and I praise the Lord I didn't go through post partum depression- but I now have a whole new appreciation for those of you who went through a difficult transition from pregnancy to motherhood due to hormones. For 2 weeks I was extremely emotional and it didn't help that I had to stop breast feeding because she had been losing weight. I think it's really hard to have a baby this time of year because you are pretty much quarantined to your home due to flu season and you're worried sick visitors will bring illness into your home. But I can honestly say that despite 2 weeks of being a little weepy, the Lord brought me joy and thanksgiving and this week I feel like a different woman.
We are very blessed to have a baby who sleeps a lot, cries very little, and already smiles at our silly songs and voices. Throughout my entire pregnancy I prayed over her and the little personality the Lord was creating in Annabelle. I asked for her to be a gentle spirit who brought joy to people and represented the beauty of life. Of course I asked for a good sleeper but even if she wasn't we'd still love her the same :-) We spend our share of nights together, sometimes for just a few moments in the darkness of her nursery after a 2am feeding or for a few hours in the living room rocking to sleep to the sound of cheesy infomercials or Full House reruns on Nick at Night that can only be found at 4am. It's amazing how sleep takes on a new defintion and how quickly you can wake up when you know this little life is depending on you for food and fresh diaper. I'm struggling with knowing when to begin putting her in the crib because I know she's ready, she sleeps 4 to 5 hours at a time at this point- but I don't know that I'm ready for that milestone. There's something so precious to waking up to her little sighs and coos she makes in her sleep in her bassinet and I think it's okay that we still want her by our side at night. I don't want to rush these first 3 months, time is too precious...
With 4 weeks under our belts I think we've finally gotten into a groove and the things I worried about have suddenly become second nature. I used to think these little babies were breakable, but they are actually quite bendy. I was worried about soft spots, umbilical cords falling off, constipation, sleepless nights, burping her too hard, and so many other things...but it's amazing how much you learn in 4 weeks and how resiliant these babies are to our trembling hands and sweaty palms throughout all the "firsts" that come with parenting. I have a feeling I will be trembling often throughout her life and all the firsts coming our way!
I finally had my 4 week check up with my doctor and I am healing nicely after Annabelle's dramatic entrance into the world, leaving me pretty torn up. I'm not sure which is worse, healing from all the tearing or a C Section, but the healing process has been quite intense. I'm finally allowed to do light cardio and get to start lifting weights in 2 weeks, oh, and she mentioned sex is okay in 2 weeks as well...YEAH RIGHT...our anniversary is June 9th- that sounds more like it...
Well, we've survived our first month without too many mistakes- I think we're going to make it! I am so excited for the months ahead and all the wonderful memories we're going to continue making as a family. Tony has been such a wonderful father and I love that she is his little "mini me"- they will be quite the pair as she grows up!
Congrats to all who are expecting your first- so many friends and family are expecting in the coming year and I am so excited for you all :-) I can't wait to hear about your experiences and your personal journey...keep me posted!
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