3 weeks ago today at this time, 2:00pm, I had just received my epidural and was feeling pretty good waiting to dialate just a few more centimeters. I remember the nurse coming in a checking me and telling me she could feel her head, and as she rubbed little Annabelle's head, the baby's heart rate picked up with excitement. I was so jealous she could touch her, that's all I'd wanted for 10 long months...
3 weeks later here I am, holding her close all day long and smelling her little head so clean with fresh baby shampoo and it's complete bliss. We fall asleep together for hours at a time in our rocking recliner and it's okay because there is nothing more important that I need to be doing. It's been a week since I made the decision to stop breast feeding and put her on formula and I was so nervous on our way to the doctor for her weekly weight check. I just wanted to hear she had put on a little weight- and praise the Lord, she went from 7lbs 3oz to a solid 8lbs in a week! I got a little teary eyed because I had desperately wanted my milk to be good enough, but the doctor assured me this was all normal and I could continue to pump and give her a little in her formula to keep my antibodies pumping through her system.
I realized that people don't tell you all the wonderful things that happen to your body in the weeks following delivery. For example, I can't sit down without the assistance of a donut shaped pillow to cushion my aching butt and crotch. Sometimes, after a warm shower, you'll think you're dry and then you'll realize you are leaking warm milk and there's nothing you can do to stop it so you just put on some pads and a new bra and move on. And baby weight, well sure, I lost 30 pounds in these first 3 weeks, but my stomach feels like an empty water balloon and that pesky dark line that appeared out of nowhere under my bellybutton around month 6 is still there in all it's glory. Oh, and don't put those maternity clothes away too soon- you will still be wearing your maternity jeans in the weeks following delivery.
This weekend Tony and I went out for the first time by ourselves since Annabelle was born while my parents watched her and it felt so strange. I kept calling to make sure she was doing okay and Tony and I talked about her most of the way to the restaurant. We had intended on going to the movies afterwards but ended up walking through Target rather quickly to pick up some formula and diapers and headed back to the house. And there she was, all ready for us, and we were ready to finish the evening as a family.
Today we are venturing out to go see Tony's parents in Florence and I admit I'm looking forward to a long drive and time with our families. In one week we get to start taking her to church and I'll be able to get her out a little more since she's put on weight and getting a little older. Things are getting easier each and every day and I'm getting more sleep than I ever imagined-she slept from 11pm until 7am last night! Her little outfits are starting to fit and she is beginning to stay awake longer during the day so we talk and interact more and more.
With each new challenge that comes our way there is a renewed sense of hope that I can do this and do it well with the help of those who have done this mommy thing before and those who are learning right along with you. In a few weeks I will look back and see how much she has grown and I want to make sure I am taking advantage of each moment we have together in these newborn days. I don't ever want to complain about sleepless nights or lazy days, early mornings or late feedings...soon enough I'll be getting more sleep than I want or need and I'll wish for those nights when we rocked and sang in the dim light of her nursery.
3 weeks later here I am, holding her close all day long and smelling her little head so clean with fresh baby shampoo and it's complete bliss. We fall asleep together for hours at a time in our rocking recliner and it's okay because there is nothing more important that I need to be doing. It's been a week since I made the decision to stop breast feeding and put her on formula and I was so nervous on our way to the doctor for her weekly weight check. I just wanted to hear she had put on a little weight- and praise the Lord, she went from 7lbs 3oz to a solid 8lbs in a week! I got a little teary eyed because I had desperately wanted my milk to be good enough, but the doctor assured me this was all normal and I could continue to pump and give her a little in her formula to keep my antibodies pumping through her system.
I realized that people don't tell you all the wonderful things that happen to your body in the weeks following delivery. For example, I can't sit down without the assistance of a donut shaped pillow to cushion my aching butt and crotch. Sometimes, after a warm shower, you'll think you're dry and then you'll realize you are leaking warm milk and there's nothing you can do to stop it so you just put on some pads and a new bra and move on. And baby weight, well sure, I lost 30 pounds in these first 3 weeks, but my stomach feels like an empty water balloon and that pesky dark line that appeared out of nowhere under my bellybutton around month 6 is still there in all it's glory. Oh, and don't put those maternity clothes away too soon- you will still be wearing your maternity jeans in the weeks following delivery.
This weekend Tony and I went out for the first time by ourselves since Annabelle was born while my parents watched her and it felt so strange. I kept calling to make sure she was doing okay and Tony and I talked about her most of the way to the restaurant. We had intended on going to the movies afterwards but ended up walking through Target rather quickly to pick up some formula and diapers and headed back to the house. And there she was, all ready for us, and we were ready to finish the evening as a family.
Today we are venturing out to go see Tony's parents in Florence and I admit I'm looking forward to a long drive and time with our families. In one week we get to start taking her to church and I'll be able to get her out a little more since she's put on weight and getting a little older. Things are getting easier each and every day and I'm getting more sleep than I ever imagined-she slept from 11pm until 7am last night! Her little outfits are starting to fit and she is beginning to stay awake longer during the day so we talk and interact more and more.
With each new challenge that comes our way there is a renewed sense of hope that I can do this and do it well with the help of those who have done this mommy thing before and those who are learning right along with you. In a few weeks I will look back and see how much she has grown and I want to make sure I am taking advantage of each moment we have together in these newborn days. I don't ever want to complain about sleepless nights or lazy days, early mornings or late feedings...soon enough I'll be getting more sleep than I want or need and I'll wish for those nights when we rocked and sang in the dim light of her nursery.
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