This first week and a half of mommyhood has been indescribable, and if you were to ask me what has made it so dynamic or what I have actually "done" in these days at home with Annabelle there wouldn't be too much day to day excitement to report. Despite the lack of physical activity, there is a spiritual and emotional process that has been taking place in my heart that is paralyzing, a process that has me laughing one moment and crying the next as I look back over the past 10 months and this sudden shift from pregnancy to motherhood.
I wake up every morning to the bluest eyes I've ever seen, legs flailing about under her oversized sleeper and hands punching awkwardly in the air to let us know she is hungry and ready to start the day. Don't get me wrong, I spend plenty of time with her in the middle of the night. I am usually up at least once or twice to change a diaper, provide a midnight snack, or cure unwanted hiccups with a pacifier and extremely creative dance we do together in the darkness of her nursery. Tony will get up with her when I am too tired to move, quietly scooping her up from the bassinet beside our bed and whisking her away to a quiet place where he sings a song he made up just for Annabelle and then returns with her sound asleep. The crazy part is that I love to sleep, but when I have to get up with her I don't mind at all, because the moment she looks at me or snuggles close I forget what time it is and hold her as closely as I can to let her know she's safe.
I am beginning to understand why my mom sobbed her eyes out with each major milestone of my life. This love of a mother will bring out a warrior in anyone and a desire to protect the life of your child no matter what the cost. In just 12 days I have felt that momma cub begin to build up in me and I want to protect her from sickness, wet diapers, upset stomachs, and cold weather. She knows my voice, the difference between me and someone else holding her, and I would do whatever it took to ensure her safety and happiness. That's the beauty of knowing the Lord, trusting that He is ultimately her provider and protector and I don't have to fear the unknown because she is His.
Tony and I sit together in the evenings holding Annabelle in complete awe that this is our family, she is our daughter. We can't love her enough or hold her too often, she is changing so much everyday and before I know it thise beautiful time of sleepy newborn days will be replaced with homework, practices, and growing up. I can't cuddle too much or give her too many kisses, take too many pictures or give her too much attention, this time is so precious and I won't take a single second of it for granted.
And with that, she is stirring in her swing ready for her dinner and I am ready to spend the evening in front of the fire with the most precious gift on earth. I am so thankful the Lord has shown me the beauty of selflessness so I can give her everything and every part of me with joy and love. I am so blessed to have a husband who already shows the strength and power of a father who will also do whatever it takes to protect his daughter. I had no idea how amazing this first week and a half would be, and I am so excited to grow up with her :-)
I wake up every morning to the bluest eyes I've ever seen, legs flailing about under her oversized sleeper and hands punching awkwardly in the air to let us know she is hungry and ready to start the day. Don't get me wrong, I spend plenty of time with her in the middle of the night. I am usually up at least once or twice to change a diaper, provide a midnight snack, or cure unwanted hiccups with a pacifier and extremely creative dance we do together in the darkness of her nursery. Tony will get up with her when I am too tired to move, quietly scooping her up from the bassinet beside our bed and whisking her away to a quiet place where he sings a song he made up just for Annabelle and then returns with her sound asleep. The crazy part is that I love to sleep, but when I have to get up with her I don't mind at all, because the moment she looks at me or snuggles close I forget what time it is and hold her as closely as I can to let her know she's safe.
I am beginning to understand why my mom sobbed her eyes out with each major milestone of my life. This love of a mother will bring out a warrior in anyone and a desire to protect the life of your child no matter what the cost. In just 12 days I have felt that momma cub begin to build up in me and I want to protect her from sickness, wet diapers, upset stomachs, and cold weather. She knows my voice, the difference between me and someone else holding her, and I would do whatever it took to ensure her safety and happiness. That's the beauty of knowing the Lord, trusting that He is ultimately her provider and protector and I don't have to fear the unknown because she is His.
Tony and I sit together in the evenings holding Annabelle in complete awe that this is our family, she is our daughter. We can't love her enough or hold her too often, she is changing so much everyday and before I know it thise beautiful time of sleepy newborn days will be replaced with homework, practices, and growing up. I can't cuddle too much or give her too many kisses, take too many pictures or give her too much attention, this time is so precious and I won't take a single second of it for granted.
And with that, she is stirring in her swing ready for her dinner and I am ready to spend the evening in front of the fire with the most precious gift on earth. I am so thankful the Lord has shown me the beauty of selflessness so I can give her everything and every part of me with joy and love. I am so blessed to have a husband who already shows the strength and power of a father who will also do whatever it takes to protect his daughter. I had no idea how amazing this first week and a half would be, and I am so excited to grow up with her :-)
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